Author: Jackie

( Note: I am just here to help you to improve. If I hurt your feelings in anyway at all I'm deeply sorry.)


Title: - 4/5
Your title is seriously catchy and really made me curious what was it all about! Death and Fate is obviously not common at all! Up until now it does have some relations with your story.

Overall Appearance: 9/10
You din't used much colors, you only focused on the colors red? Your text is easy to read and your poster is great!

Forewords: - 9/10
You did a good job in your forewords! You din't gave too much information about the characters or your story plan. I was more interested in your story when I read you forewords.

Plot: -14/15
Your plot is awesome! I really can't stop reading you fanfic! It wasn't at all boring. How can it be? The whole Raymond being half human and half dead.

Creativity/Originality: 14/15
From what I read in your story I don't doubt that your creative. Thinking up a story like this has to come from a creative or an imaginative person. Your story was original since I haven't read any stories with the same plots like yours.
 
Flow: -10/10
In my opinion your flow was just perfect! It definitely wasn't dragging your story down or did it went too fast. You did well in the flow of your story.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10
Your mistakes are common.
The beginning letter of a sentence MUST be a capital letter even if it's in a conversation.

Example:"AHH! i told you! I couldn't get any more info from her!? can't you just give me a clue or something? sheesh" I said to her.
              (INCORRECT)
              'AHH! I told you! I couldn't get any more info from her!? Can't you just give me a clue or something? Sheesh' I said to her.
              (Correct)

              I think this wasn't done on purpose. Right?
             
              I can't go to the police...can't I? ( incorrect )
              I can't go to the police...can I? ( Correct )

              

Characterization: -8/10
You described you characters pretty well. It wasn't too detailed or too little. I think you should describe Linda and Tavia a little more but not too much.

Writing Style: -10/10
I have nothing wrong with your style of writing this story.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I LOVE your story! I really enjoyed reading it!

Sub Total: -89/100

Bonus: -5/5

Total: -94/100